Pergi untuk kembali

I dont know what te exact word to say to call the moment i just had with my friends. Is it kind of a celebration or farewell party? If it should be said as a farewell, then i must have been beyond sad inside my heart, but i didnt. If it should be said as a celebration then i must have been very overjoyed, but i wasnt.

Ganda is leaving town tommorow morning, moved to Banten for work for a while. I heard the news about a week ago and i felt terribly sad at that time. Among us, he is the one having capability to coordinate us everytime we go hanging out together. He becomes such our guardian angel if there are fights or debates between us. Truly a trustworthy person. Having gathered together tonight didnt make me even think about ganda leaving us soon. I thought i would have been sad or cried to make it even worse. But it turned out to be an enjoyable gathering.

Many good wishes for you, gando! Good luck at your new workplace! Dont be a silly and "chicky" boy when we're not there around you. Ping or buzz us when you miss us. This is not goodbye forever. See you on top!

Kembali menjadi tiga nyai ronggeng

"Eh cyinnnnn pa kabar? Yak ampunnnn akhirnya ketemu. Jawel sek kelek!"

Nah itu kalimat yang keluar dari mulut pas td pagi ketemu mreka setelah sepuluh hari gak ktemu. Bok, kangen! Pas gak ada mreka beneran kayak kerja di mal yang belum buka. Sepiiiii buanget. Pengen bikin gaduh tapi kok ya bingung mau gmana, akhirnya nemplok terus sama mbak mica, mbak reny, sama mbak ari. Doe sama gre udah kayak sodara buat saya. Orang tua saling kenal, dari kecil sekolah minggu bareng sampe ikut komisi pemuda juga. Gila nya totalitas banget klo sama mreka termasuk bisa guyon ala anak jekardah alay juga. Selera musik dan pakaian kita juga mirip. Ember banget deh kita bertiga. Sebutan buat kita (tanpa malu mengakui), kalo mau kutip (kutip jareee) slogan di truk bagian bak belakang tuh "nyai-nyai ronggeng". Wasyek!

Keep going!

Saya belajar terus untuk menjalani hidup ini dengan tidak mengeluh. Saya inget mama pernah bilang jangan mau kalah sama keadaan. Yah ada kalanya saya merasa hidup ini "agak mayak", enak bener mainin perasaan orang. Tapi, klo hidup flat aja jg gak enak kali ya. Semangatttt! Walopun sekarang keadaannya serba gak enak, tapi saya mau belajar untuk survive dan selalu mensyukuri hidup ini. Mungkin masih banyak orang di luar sana yang hidupnya lebih menderita dari sana. Siapapun yang bergumul dengan masalah, keep in faith in God. God wont pur you to it if He cant get you through it.

The other day, saya mikir kenapa ya kok saya ini look pathetic bgt pny hubungan yg abnormal gak bs dinikmatin sama skali? Saya suka iri emg liat temen2 yang bs ngedate sama pacar tiap weekend, liat adeknya pacar yang liburan ke bali brdua sama pacar, dan liat couples yang bisa nonton movie. Saya, boro-boro mau telpon, sms an aja jg agak susah. Mau curhat kok ya gak bs soalnya gak ada jdwl telpon. Tapi, akhirnya setelah saya doa terus-terusan, minta ampun juga kok hati saya ini isinya melulu sama jealousy, ehhhh ternyata sekarang saya bisa dapet sisi positifnya juga long distance kayak gini. Saya bisa melatih perasaan saya buat mandiri, brjuang sama smuanya sndiri. Lebih bebas juga mau temenan sama siapa aja, gak stiap hari "ngintil" sama pacar. Jadi yah istilahnya saya gak mewek-an yang dikit dikit ngambek klo gak jadi ngedate sama pacar, dicuekin pacar. Tuhannnn, tolong saya dong biar saya tetep kuat. Gini gini kadang saya masih suka kelolosan buat mewek waktu kangen pacar. Maaf ya Tuhan, besok2 saya mau belajar gak ngeluh dan sedih2. Saya masih tetep brsyukur kok saya masih bisa tetep deket sama mama papa di rumah. Mereka juga yang dukung saya buat tetep kuat dan jadi tempat pelarian saya.

Gundah gulana

Saya lagi dirundung perasaan gundah gulana :( :(

Kalo dia emang sibuk dengan sak-gedambreng aktivitas (kerja, kuliah, magang, choir, futsal, dll) harusnya tetep bisa bikin balance dengan hubungan antara saya dengan dia. Itu sih harapan saya. Dari hati yang paling dalam, saya sujud syukur ke Tuhan karena akhirnya nih akhirnya si dia bisa magang 3bulan di tempat kerja yang sesuai bidang studinya. Puji Tuhan juga kalo dia masih bisa kerja part time di tempat bikin sandwich itu juga. Trus puji Tuhan juga kalo Tuhan kasih kepercayaan sama dia buat melayani jadi member of choir di gereja. Puji Tuhan puji Tuhan. Smuanya ini (sumpah) saya syukurin. Kalo sekarang keadaan nya jadi bikin dia semakin sibuk, saya cuman minta supaya paling tidak bisa bikin hubungan saya dengan dia juga dalam keadaan yang baik. Kalo bole, komunikasi telepon dan sms juga jangan dibatasin atau di"menit"-in. Sedih banget kalo ternyata si dia mbatesin waktu untuk bisa komunikasi dengan saya. :,( In my opinion, sesibuk apapun si dia, kalo emang cuman bisa diselipin waktu telepon-teleponan 30mt (SEMINGGU) ASALKAN berkualitas (which is no fights and no aras-arasan waktu ngobrol) tetep bisa bikin hati saya tenang dan nyaman. Lah sekarang, udah coba telpon-telponan tapi yang ada selalu direspon aras-arasan dan disambi pula sama kerjain tugas dia laennya. Oh nooowwwww! Sedih saya, asli sedih!

Tuhan, kalo emang ini sekarang yang mesti dijalanin, tolong ya Tuhan supaya semakin kuat buat ngadepinnya. Kalo emang akhirnya komunikasi saya dan dia harus terbatas, ya udah Tuhanm gak apa-apa. Tolong juga agar Tuhan selalu beri kesehatan dan sukacita buat kami masing-masing agar walopun less contacts, kami bisa tetep happy dengan cara yang laen.

Amin.

Happy valentine!

"For God so loVed the world,

That He gAve

His onLy

BegottEn

SoN

That whosoever

Believeth In Him

Should Not perish

But have Everlsating life,"

-John 3:16-

Happy valentine everyone! Suddenly I remember this morning Shieby shared the quote above via bbm group. I found that interesting. So all I want to say that let's spread love to others as God had been loving us before He created us.I personally dont take today as a special day which I dont celebrate it with my beloved ones. At the office, I saw almost everyone (which is married and engaged) celebrating the val day. They had prepared nice gifts to their each couple. I felt like I was getting stranded on the small island cause I didn't know what to do and I felt weird to get involved in their valentine-ish talking. Oh yeah, I might have been jealous to them for I knew (right before the val day this year) I can't celebrate it with my man. Ngok! But that's okay. I can do any other thing to please myself on this val today. I think I'm pretty good at managing or creating kind of good ideas to make my val day special teehhee. Yes, tonight I'm gonna watch korean dvd as many episodes as I can til I fall asleep.

I will make today into a beautiful day one, and I hope so for yours.

Happy birthday, kakak!

I wish you nothing but the best kak! Finally met you again yesterday. Hope this new age brings you happiness with your lil family and more health.

Went for casual dinner with all my family to celebrate my sister birthday. No gifts actually for her, but i could see from her eyes that she was overly happy gathering with all my family last night. I was actually devastated of taking care of lil Keenan. Oh my God he's a being more naughty and cant stop talking random talks. And the worse is he got very excited yesterday so he ran around the restaurant wanting to touch anything he saw. Fiughh! But i didnt find it annoying me as i really missed my lil Keenan and hadn't kept in touch with him in a long time. Hehehee. Keenan, tante loves youuu.